Life is a Journey not a Destination

Blogger jailed for Islam and president insults
Metro Thursday, February 22, 2007
A court has convicted a blogger in Eygpt for insulting both Islam and the country's president Hosni Mubarak.
The court in the city of Alexandria sentenced Abdel Karim Suleiman to four years in jail over his writings on the Internet.
The 22-year-old former law student, who has been in custody since November, was the first blogger to stand trial in Egypt for his Internet writings.
He was convicted in connection with eight articles he wrote since 2004.
One of Suleiman's articles said that al-Azhar in Cairo, one of the most prominent seats of Sunni Muslim learning, was promoting extreme ideas.
Another article, headlined "The Naked Truth of Islam as I Saw it", accused Muslims of savagery during clashes between Muslims and Christians in Alexandria in 2005.
He has also described some of the companions of the Muslim prophet Mohammad as "terrorists", and has likened Mubarak to dictatorial pharaohs who ruled ancient Egypt.
Suleiman, who describes himself as a Muslim and a liberal, has not denied writing the articles but said they merely represented his own views.

From words the encourage negative feelings to words that encourage POSITIVE proaction.......

1. Love is…………………………..
2. I wish I………………………..
3. Why did I…………………..
4. The last time I………..
5. The first time I……..
6. I hate it when………..

Words that bring out negative feelings

Maybe I should put both feet in the bucket

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
_______________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for
water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree,but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

More hand painting

And I use to tell the kids off for drawing on their hands

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Please don't shoot me

A would-be bank robber stormed out of his intended target empty-handed – after no one took him seriously.
The robber entered the bank in Fairmont, Illinois, with his face covered and a black bag in his hand.
'He told everybody he had a bomb,' Vermilion County Sheriff Pat Hartshorn said.
'He told everybody to get down, that it was a robbery.'
But neither staff nor customers took any notice and he fled empty-handed.

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that , in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical , a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins . The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing. Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.
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No Need to Reply, I'll be on Vacation

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Surely this can't be true ???

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing "the absolute worst use of lifelines ever."
After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question.

The question was:
"Which of the following is the largest?"
A = A Peanut
B = An Elephant
C = The Moon
D = Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.
"Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
"Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think I better phone a friend."
Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.
"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun."
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
"Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it."
To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'
"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer."
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

Alphabet MEME

I was tagged by Roselyne so this is me alphabetically;

A = Admiration for all things beautiful (including my fellow Bloggers)

B = Bob Dylan an early hero of mine (hence the rebellious streak)

C = Christ and Christianity (the meaning of life for me)

D = Devious (Heh! Heh! Heh!)

E = Early (I hate being late for anything)

F = Faith (Very important to me)

G = Geordie (Whey Aye Man)

H = Hateless (I just don’t hate) H = Humour (I just love it)

I = (The cause of all my problems)

J = Jesus (see C)

K = Kiki2U the person I’m going to tag

L = Love (there’s more than enough to go round but we don’t share it as much as we should)

M = Maps (I’d be lost without them)

N = Newcastle United Football Club (I live in hope and expectation)

O = Over the hill (sniff)

P = People ( there’s so many different types – Great)

Q = Queens of Blogs ( Kiki2U (Special K), MMM, Lonemum, Roselyne, Nan, they always bring a smile to my face)

R = Real World (there are so many who don’t live in it)

S = Smoking (I’ve got to give up)…………….. (sometime)

T = Telephones (another hate)

U = User friendly (I wish everything was)

V = Very nice (I am really – promise)

W = Weekends (self explanatory )

X = X’s from caring Bloggers.

Z = Zest (for life)

I tag Special K (Kiki2U)

Earlier today out with the dog

RACIST MATERIALS

A former teacher has made shocking allegations that the King Fahad Academy in west London has been using racist teaching materials which describe Jewish people as monkeys and Christians as pigs. He alleges that text books used by the Saudi run school ask pupils to "name some repugnant characteristics of Jews". The teacher, who is claiming unfair dismissal, has submitted the teaching materials as part his evidence for an employment tribunal. Newsnight has obtained copies of the text books and is investigating the teacher's claims.
The head of a Saudi-funded Islamic school in London has refused to withdraw textbooks said to dub other faiths "worthless" amid claims it was fuelling extremism.
But she insisted the King Fahad Academy did not teach "hatred" and blamed the controversy over the material on misinterpretation of passages from the Koran.
The private school has been under fire following claims by a former teacher that children were taught from books describing Jews as "repugnant" and Christians as "pigs".
And one Labour MP claimed it was part of a "deliberate Saudi initiative" to instil fundamentalism and said other schools should be investigated.
School director Dr Sumaya Alyusuf admitted that the books, published by the Saudi ministry of education, were kept at the school but said they were no longer part of the curriculum.
She added: "The King Fahad Academy promotes inter-culturalism, inter-faith awareness. I personally participate in inter-faith forums in London."
Pressed on the claims children were taught that people of other faiths went to "hellfire" when they died, she added: "I reject that and I monitor what is taught in the classroom. I have developed the curriculum myself. We do not teach hatred towards Judaism or Christianity. We teach tolerance."
Louise Ellman, the Liverpool Riverside MP who chairs the Jewish Labour Movement, told the programme: "This whole situation is unacceptable. It is incitement; it is part of the deliberate Saudi initiative to instil Wahabi extremism amongst Muslims and the rest of society.

When you read the newspaper you sometimes come across an article and you think to yourself 'things can't get any worse'.....then it does.

A 15-year-old-boy has been shot dead at his home in Peckham, south London.
Two men forced their way in early this morning and blasted the youngster in his bedroom.
Police have yet to release his identity.
The boy's sister was in the house when he was shot, and immediately called an ambulance.

He was taken to nearby King's College Hospital, but died less than an hour later.
The killing was the latest in a spate of murders in south London.
Two men were killed in Peckham at the weekend, and last week a 16-year-old boy died after he was shot at an ice rink in Streatham.
Officers from Scotland Yard's Operation Trident team have launched a murder inquiry into the latest shooting.
The unit investigates gun crime in the black community.

I was driving down the street the other day in a sweat because I had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven I said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up drinking!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

So I looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend,Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff
one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their
upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught
himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....
it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

Well it’s three o’clock in the afternoon I have just surfaced from my nice warm sanctuary. I have just finished my seventh nightshift with a week of lazy days ahead (freedom). It’s been a strange week. I work for weird rail company who think that by not spending any money will make them rich and successful.
So me and one significant other have been working in buildings that are falling down about our ears, in fact when it rains you actually get wetter inside than if you were working outside.

We service and repair locomotives and these special charter trains. The nights this week have been very cold.
The highlight of the week has been to repair, carry out maintenance and hand wash and polish the Queen’s (stands to attention while typing) Locomotive.
67005 ‘The Queens Messenger.’ The work that we put into it makes me think the Her Majesty herself fulfils a childhood ambition and drives it herself. Every year I hopefully look towards the New Year’s honours list (you never know) (Mmmm! “Arise Sir Layreader” “Lord of Blog.co.uk” it has a ring about it doesn’t it).

My week has ended with a real downer, my cousin in Yorkshire died suddenly (things like this make you examine your own mortality) Also two members of our church (both in their 90’s) went to be with the Lord. Kath who was the oldest was saying over the last few that she was looking forward to going home (and she didn’t mean her flat) she was an inspiration.

The weekend saw my daughter being rushed to hospital with an infection which she may have picked up on her recent holiday in Italy skiing. But it is hoped she will be out tomorrow.
At least our confirmation service went well on Sunday I didn’t trip up in my robes and my various tasks went without incident. I told the Bishop about my idea about wearing roller skates and he said next time he will bring his (they are human after all!)

Oh yes and my library books are overdue.

This is very clever but you must read all of it.

The European Union Commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the common language for all future European
communications rather than German which was the other possibility. As part
of the negotiations, H M Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will
be known as Euro-English (Eurospeak for short).
In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly,
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard 'c' will be
replaced by 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but keyboards kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing public enthusiasm in the second year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like
'fotograf' some 20% shorter.
In the third year, public akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to
reakh the stage where more komplikated khanges are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters which have always been a
deterrent to akurate speling. Also, nearly al wil agre that the horible mes
of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrakeful and would go as wel.
By the fourth year. People wil be reseptiv to steps such as replacing 'th'
by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.
During ze fifz year, ze unnesesary 'o' kan be droped from vords containing
'ou' and similar khanges vud of kors be applied to ozer kombinations of
letters. After ziz fiftz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer wil
be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.